Many of us choose to make changes in our lives. Some might fail, some might suceed. In analyzing my experiences, and some others from other people(usually testimonies in books, videos, or conversations), I found a pattern in initiatives of the plan, and also one in individuals who actually succeed in making the change.
Here’s the secret : they unconsciously, or consciously make them into executable small steps. I’ve found this pattern in many different forms, but I haven’t found a sufficing explanation of how it works, and why it works. Here, I will attempt an explanation with analogies to various concepts.
While this article is oriented towards people who are struggling to start something, high acheivers still might benefit from it since it can serve as a refresher.
Analogy from computers
Computers have dominated the world. Literally everything has a computer embedded in it these days, even in the piece of plastic you use to acquire daily commodities.
In serving your daily needs, computers use structures to re-use various models. This is to avoid having to save the same structure in every process that needs to use it, and to avoid error, since you don’t need to make a structure every time you need to use it. This is very analogous to the human brain in structure, since our brain has different functions assigned to every section.
To call other structures incide a process, the re-usables are generally formed into something called ‘objects’. The key analogy to our main subject is this : “You can’t call an object that doesn’t exist!”
When you have a new-year’s resolution like “lose ten pounds”, you don’t automatically have a function called “lose ten pounds” just by thinking at it. Unless you have lost 10 pounds of fat multiple times before, the likeliest outcome from just wanting, is that you’ll allocate a sector in your brain that is named after your goal. Given that the training data you feed to this sector is most likely going to be grumps, hopes, and remorse, there’s next to no chance it’s your ride to success.
What to do : Learn from your successes.
If you’re human, and you’re reading this article, there’s a pretty good chance that you’d be able to do a very complicated task; You can read, at least at an superficial level. There would also be many more wonderful tasks that you’d be able to perform. At least in my terms, I call them successes.
In order to make your goal into your reality, you have to construct it out of your successes. For instance, if you want to lose ten pounds, you have to divide it into actions that you will do to acheive the goal over a reasonable time span.
After you’re done planning dividing your goal into executionable actions. You now have to construct the actions themselves. Let’s go again on the analogy to the gym. Here is an instance of a “go to gym” executable.
Now, the only thing you are left to do is first provide yourself a schedule where doing that action is actually reasonable. If you have no time to spare, you’re not getting that six pack no matter what. Then, do that action on a regular basis.
Warning : Remeber that not doing something is not an action and it won’t work. Instead of writing “don’t eat sugary foods”, you should write something like “eat pickles instead of hot pockets” or “eat strawberrys instead of ice cream”; They will be much more helpful as they are functions that you can call, instead of hopeless screams inside your brain. After all, you already know that you can’t just stop eating sugary foods.
Why is it so Simple?
Doesn’t it seem simple? If it’s so simple, why do so many people fail to do anything? Here’s the explanation :
The most frequent way people fail on doing something is by making an overly complicated grand schema that will magically solve their problems. If you have done this at least once in your life, you’re with me. Problem is, most people don’t possess the ability to solve all their problems in a que; That’s probably why they’re called problems, and making grand schemas doens’t necessarily let you possess that ability like a genie.
Isn’t it too simple though? Is it going to work? Here is the explanation :
It actually isn’t. Like mentioned earlier, the key to success is small consequent steps that lead you to success. The example I provided serves as the basic model for your journey. Thing is, once you get there for about five consecutive days, you’d probably want to check out more. You might want to try using dumbells because they look cool. You might make some friends that give you that extra push you needed to get of your room again. You might watch a tutorial on how to use some training facility. Who knows?
However, I din’t say that mean to say that the small steps you make forward are going to magically solve all your problems. Like it was mentioned before, no one possess the ability to solve all their problems at a whim.
Moreover, the simplicity of the steps do not, in any means mean that each step is going to be easy. Accumulated, they’ll be the most tiring thing ever, yet they won’t be stressful, raging, agonizing or painful. Just pure tiredness that you don’t know what to do. People hate this, and that’s why they make huge plans that look ridiculous from afar, or don’t put any effort and tell themselves that they did. For example, on schoolwork you might be just solving the easy problems or reading the material over and over when what really need to do to learn is to solve the problems & have multiple reviews on ones you weren’t so great at & try explaining it in your own words. The latter is much more expensive to compute; Your primitive brain avoids it with all its might. It’s simple, but costly, and you simply avoid it. I’m just teaching you how to pay full price, in a matter of fact.
This is also why highly acheiving people highly value seemingly small effort from new-comers. They probably know it’s just hard enough for you to show up. It’s also the most appealing behavioral evidence that you’re actually learning something.
Piece of Advice : Appreciate yourself for each small step you take forward
People often fiercly scold themselves over not meeting goals; The goals are often too high. Often they’re not just voices in your head, but actually said to you. Some even say that they are “for you”. This is exactly what happened to me. While I hated it, I also hated myself. That’s why I had to painstakingly research to come up with this theory. Now that I have it active, I found inner peace, and learned to love myself.
This will most likely happen to you too. But the most important part of this post is actually this part. You can’t scold yourself, you need to love yourself, even the parts of yourself that you hate because others hated it. You know you tried your best to make yourself happy. Appreciate every step you take forward. Reward yourself by going for a walk or going to your favorite store for a treat. Take time to appreciate the difference, no matter how miniscule it seems at first glance. Appreciate it. You only live once.
Here are music recommendations for the post
First Draft – 2024/09/21 Major Rework needed!
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