Communication, and with it assertiveness, are important features of human relationships. There is simply no such thing as reading someone’s mind, while one may attempt to demonstrate it at restricted settings, or try to fake it.
One thing I’ve started to notice is that people, when hearing simple or complex statements, tend to think that the first thing that came to mind is the exact meaning of the statement. However, while this doesn’t seem to cause much problem in mentally homogeneous societies, it causes tremendous problem, in even one-to-one interactions when people without an established common base of thoughts interact.
I’m not trying to say that some tendency is bad, or that we can entirely avoid it. Human fallacies, tend to be ubiquitous regardless of your self perception, and the only thing you can do, is to be conscious of it.
[link to article “The Importance of being Conscious”, cat:Research]
One way of doing this, is having the thought, “they are from another world”, like you’re looking at the moon.
This is further down the road of thinking, “Hmm, they have that thought“, which objectifies a thought, enabling the more nonsubjective view of something.
In a similar way, objectifying a statement enables you to differentiate yourself and other people. It enables you to differentiate between the person, the thoughts they have, and the sentences they say. By appreciating the process in which the communication is attempted as a whole, rather than thinking of people as who you can read or a different version of yourself, you establish a basis of a healthier way of relationship, that is in turn the basis of better communication.
Moreover, by this, by not treating people as “a different version of yourself”, and treating them, accepting them as they are, you can give them leeway to be healed of any past trauma they had from relationships. This view also lets you to escape of relationship that resemble narcisstic co-dependencies, that only view relationships as a means to an end, where relationships are only tools to seek self-affirmation or fill voids, leading to significant personal growth.
Additionally, while why it happens is unclear to me at the moment, it often times angers people that such possibilities exist. There is the possiblity that it undermines their defence mechanisms and thus makes them uneasy.
Drafted 2024/11/07 – More thought is needed on the subject. Ideas that consist this article are premature. Adding the concept of hate and why it is harmful to the self. Maybe link it to an article about Jungian model of self.
ideas : homogeneity of thought – group – problem : happiness
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